I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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