Taylor Swift is so right about you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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