is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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