I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
