I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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