Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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