Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
