we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize