He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have feelings that need drinking.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
