its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
