i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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