I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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