I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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