I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All the doctor said was why
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
