Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
