Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
