i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
