the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
