last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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