Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
