You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize