Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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