Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
