I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
