you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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