how can u be prego again
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
