between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
