The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
