nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
