Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
