First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
