he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
