My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
