im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
this boner is exhausting
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
