I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
