the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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