You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pants are for mortals
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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