I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
