umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
