Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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