I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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