Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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