pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
