that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
