I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize