i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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