I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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