Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
