I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
