9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize