Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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