Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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