Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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