Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
